I love my mama.
No one really understands the relationship we have. We got really, really close as i took care of her my senior year, and quite honestly she is my very best friend. Yes, everyone has their little mother/daughter spats every now and then- but she has such a deep understanding of me, and i of her. i appreciate her honesty and candidness with me as i was growing up, about life and love and all that stuff moms are supposed to teach their kids. She worked so hard to keep our family from unraveling, and succeeded, for a very long time. I really can talk to her about anything i want to. she is the most compassionate, loving, and HILARIOUS woman, and i am so blessed and privileged to have her as a mother. one of the things i love about her most, is that she can make people smile anywhere she goes, whenever she meets new people- she brings such joy to others, even if she's hurting on the inside herself. i know she's trying to figure out a ot of things about herself and about her life, and i hope that she keeps moving forward as she has been. right now, she's on a little island off the coast of malaysia, doing a little soul searching, a little writing, and having a blast. i just spoke to her on the phone for the first time in 4 days, and i feel so much better. i'm not as anxious about everything i've been worrying about lately. She has this relaxing effect on me- we both sleep the best when we are back to back, and when we do sleep together we go into this like, hibernation mode and will sleep for 12 hours straight. it's so nice, though we generally miss most of the day!
My dad is a good man.
it makes me sad that, thinking about it, that he didn't really get to participate in me growing up as much as he wished he could've because he traveled so much. as a result, for a very long time i barely had a relationship with my dad, unlike my brother, who is close to him like i am my mom. especially when my parents finally separated, i had some very serious "daddy issues". I am only now, as a young adult, getting to know my father as a man, not "just dad". He's made some huge mistakes in the past, some of which are still very painful to think about- but all the daddy issues aside, i love him. I think that since the divorce and him moving to Saudi and Russia, it has made him FINALLY realize what's really important in life- family. He has become atrociously soft hearted- he's not a fan of it, but i think someone up there is finally tugging on his heart strings, to catch him before he becomes a calloused old man. we're still building our relationship, but I think we're on the right track.
My big brothers mean the world to me.
They're such good guys- each have their flaws, which we love to talk about, but i am so thankful that our parents raised us well, to have manners and love eachother. i would do anything in the world for them, and they would do anything in the world for me. Matt is a one of a kind guy- he has this persona that his friends know him as, but i love that i get to see the other side of him too- the sweet, gentle, wide eyed, funny and a little insecure sometimes little boy that he's always been. Nathan (Chase, whatever) is older than me by 11 years, and so i didn't really get to grow up with him for a very long time before we moved away to Norway. however, as adults, we have become SO much closer it's unreal, when he visited us, or when I visit him. he's got such a good heart, and although sometimes he gets a little panicky like mom, he and i have very similar personalities, and i love just hanging out with him. He's had some rough spots in the last decade, but i'm so proud of him for pushing through and becoming a stronger person for it. They both love eachother and love me, and i am so thankful for them- i know that they will ALWAYS be there for me, and same goes for me to them. They're just awesome.
I felt i needed to write down how i felt about my family, because i miss them all so much right now. it's rough not having someone to hug on as much as you want. (that's the other thing- everyone in my family is SO affectionate, and i love it.)
like mama always said... friends come and go, but family is forever.
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