"To whom much is given, much is expected."

Rev. Kenny Mills said that to me last night- and i don't really know specifically what he was referring to- i guess it applies to a lot in my life, but... i dunno.

He coud be talking about the whole situation with my mom and taking care of her... but what if he's picking up on some like, spiritual thing that i haven't really picked up on- or maybe i've picked up on it and have just been ignoring it for the past few years?

what i mean is... am i suposed to be a worship pastor?

i've had a few people tell me they think i am. people that don't know me, but are all spiritually in tune n stuff. it's just, i've been lax the past few years, to say the least, with my relationship with God... and i would feel like a hypocrite- specifically because there are a few things that i don't agree with when it gets down to church politics- not the main stuff like God n Jesus, but the less important things- i just hate to see churches divided because of disagreements over interpretations of a book. The Bible was the law of the land- at the time. too many people in high positions of power take it out of context and use it to their advantage. like aubrey said, the bible is meant to uplift people, not hurt them- give them a model of a perfect person, Jesus christ, so that we could have something to strive to be like- and ultimately and certainly fall short.

i dunno where i'm going with this. i need to be a better person. i need to tune in to my spiritual side, see if i'm meant for something more than i thought. or different. or... i dunno. i just hate it when God gets under my skin! he doesn't let you ignore him, unfortunately. maybe i'll start looking for church job openings- if it's meant to be, it'll happen.